Thursday, August 31, 2006

Homeward Bound

Wow!!!

I have officially departed the WTF. I am currently in Kuwait and in the middle of my long journey home. It is a true feeling of relief, accomplishment and well WTF!!!. My trip from Baghdad to Kuwait was painless. I am almost half expecting a convoy in circles or better yet one from Kuwait to the WTF and then back to Kuwait. Today I woke up and I had nothing to do. I haven't seen Jake giving a rambling speech or dissappearing in our building for hours at end. I have also not seen hide nor hair of the Pie Eater and Two Bobs. I also missed my first beer thirty today. In some wierd way I kind of miss that place. It is like I have Stockholm Syndrome or something. (for those who do not get my off the wall humor Skockholm Syndrome is where a former hostage symathizes or relates with his or her captor or captors). In my case I like to call it WTF syndrome. WTF syndrome is something one suffers when he or she experiences the normal and logical and is very leary. I can honestly say that this morning I suffered a little from WTF Syndrome. I woke up and did not have to use bottled water to brush my teeth. WTF?!! I was also able to drink real milk and not something out of a box that has a shelf life of like twelve twinkies after a nuclear war, WTF?!! Nor did I have to deal with fat !@!@ civilians whizzing past me, with no passengers in their air-conditioned SUVs, as I do my impression of Laurance of Arabia, coughing up sand in triple digit temperatures, while I make my hike to the WTF, A real big WTF!!!!. All that is over. The WTF syndrome is quickly going away. I am very grateful for the friends I made in Iraq. I look forward to heading home to real beer, being able to drive places without six other vehicles and a PSD (personal security detail for those who are still learning military talk) and being able to dine without having to be armed. I will soon be on the other side.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Two Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

It is now that time in my deployment when the core group of monkeys begins to disband. We started with five monkeys plus a Monkey in Charge and of the original five there are now two of us. Capt S, unexpectedly, left today, which is a good thing for he and his family. I wish him safe travels as he rides that big vine in the sky home. It is amazing how quickly an office dynamic can change when just one person or a group leave. Our future monkey generation has also departed the WTF Headquarters. Captain Ch or as we call him Dave Travis and Lt Freedom have left for greener pastures at the Embassy. Whiskey (me) and Foxtrot (Capt N) are all that is left of the monkeys, both past and present. Captain S, myself and Foxtrot are all members of the original trimverate of fun as we called ourselves in the early days. Thank goodness only five days remain. In a tribute to the founding fathers of fun and the monkeys I have posted this picture. I am very happy to be finishing up this deployment but I am also bit meloncholy at the same time. The bonds forged in a setting such as this are strong and irreplacable. Another adventure in my life will be closing and with everyone scattered across the country it is highly likely that I will not see the monkeys again. There are obligitory talks of reunions and keeping in touch, but it is unlikely as people get busy with life. I consider myself very blessed and lucky to work with such a diverse and talented group of men and women. Although I am not a big fan of GreenDay there is one song that is very appropriate for this setting. It is called Time of Your Life. The chorus reads: "It is something unpredictable but in the end is right I hope you had the time of your life. It is not a question but a lesson learned in time, it is something unpredictable but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life." I think that those words are very true not only with the mission but with the people in it. I wish each and every monkey reading this safe travels. Keep the chin strap tight and I will see you when the clouds come home.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Single Digit Midget

Ahh yes 9 days!!!!

I am now in single digits. I have 9 days left here. Up until this point, "this point" was as far off as the Baghdad horizon. It is slowly starting to sink in that next Wed I start the long road home and a return to the relative normalness of the States. No longer will I have to walk in gravel, with flip flops on, to go to the shower and bathroom. Nor will I look up in awe at the Apache helicopters figure eighting around the naughty Haji Mosque neighborhood searching for a point of origin where the latest mortar was launched at Victory. It will also be nice to be allowed to eat a meal without having to posess a weapon and ammo. Living in a 8 x12 double wide trailer will no longer seem like luxury once I return. It will also be nice to see a cloud or two. I am certain to see a few, especially in Seattle. Today I saw my first cloud since May. Speaking of clouds, it will also be nice to not be caught in any more giant dust clouds. Another dust cloud hit today and engulfed the entire camp. Once again I braced myself for locusts and floods. Variety and freedom of movement is a cool thing and you don't realize it that you don't have it.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A View Away From the WTF Flag Pole

Greetings,

It has been a little while since my last post. With this post, you will not read about the latest WTF saga, or be introduced to another character. I am helping out in a different office. It has been a great change of pace to get out of the WTF reality show for a little while. The monkeys have been divided but we are still stronger than ever. I am working a little closer to the customers so to speak. Up until this little change, I have been diligently counting down the days until I go home without much thought as to what I was really contributing to this effort. Now, however, I am right up close and personal with what it is I am doing here. Putting a human face to our mission and to this conflict and seeing what I am currently seeing has re-engergized me. I can honestly say that the rule of law is catching hold here each day and it is a wonderful thing. It is too bad that it took me 165 days or so to really feel this way. Better late than never, that is what I always say. With that said, I have only 13 days left in paradise and that too is a wonderful thing.

Monday, August 07, 2006

The Pie Eater and the Two Bobs

In the ever evolving world of the WTF some of the most unforgetable characters emerge. The Pie Eater and the Two Bobs are no different. During one our "Hail and Fairwell/forced Military Fun" parties several weeks ago, we noticed something that anywhere elsewhere would be considered odd. As we enjoyed our near beer, and "fake barbequed hamburgers," a very large and well fed Arab man came toward the building where our function was at. He walked briskly on the opposite of the street. All of a sudden he made a sharp left turn and entered the patio area where our fun was. By this time the meal was over and we started the dessert portion, which was pie. We all lined up to get some pie. Without missing a step he got into line, grabed a plate, and helped himself to about 2/3 of a pie. At this point we (the monkeys) had yet another WTF look on our face. I then turned to Capt. K or Kizzie, who knows everyone at the WTF 134 (you know the headband and sweatband girl from a couple of entries ago?) and ask "Hey who is the Pie Eater?" Her reply was, "I have never seen him before in my life." Hence another character was born for the WTF reality show.

Several weeks and one forced fun function later, the Pie Eater reappeared. Apparently he works for the WTF 134 as a translator at the WTF Headquarters building (e.g. the place where the guy with two stars on his uniform works aka the flag pole). According to his bio he hails from Dearborne Michigan, imagine that. This time he is not alone. He was with two other not so large but also well fed Arab men. One of the guy's names that the Pie Eater was with was Bob. It is uncertain what the third guy's name is so he was given the name Bob as well. For those who have seen Office Space you will get the reference. Now each time I go down to the WTF headquarters I make it a point to see if the Pie Eater and the two Bobs are around. If they are there, my day is complete. It should also be noted that most of the time we see the Pie Eater and one of the Two Bobs or the Two Bobs and no Pie Eater or just the Pie eater. They never seem to all be together, until the other night though.

Capt S. said he not only saw the Pie Eater and the Two Bobs together, but they were at the gym. He said he spotted them as they attempted to use the equipment. Evidentally, they did not quite know how to use the machines. According to Capt S, The Pie Eater and the Two Bobs looked as out of place as a cat with tape stuck to its paw. Capt S. said that after about an hour of tugging on unfamiliar pulleys and cables on the various weight machines, they completed their workout. The highlight of the workout session, was that the Pie Eater had an Air Force PT (Physical Training in military speak) uniform on. It is characters like these that keep us laughing over here. Things are well. My time is rapidly winding down. 23 more days until I can take a beer off the wall.